Firsts

Sunday May, 2 marked 6 months that my father passed away. It also would have been his 60th birthday. I was very busy getting cookies and brownies ready for the Hoboken Arts and Music festival leading up to his birthday. Looking back, this was a good thing. Keeping busy helps disperse sad thoughts, so getting hundreds of baked goods together left me little time to think about being sad.

When I signed up for the festival back in January, I saw that it would be on May 2 and instantly knew I had to commit. As soon as I signed up, I asked Dad for a little help with the weather. In the past, the festivals fell on days with not so great weather. What I was hoping for was a solid sunny day. I had to laugh when the day arrived. I sure got my sunny day, but boy was it hot! Dad liked the warmer weather so I knew this hot sunny day was sent personally from him which made me smile through all of the sweat. I sure could have used his air conditioning skills to cool down our tent that day though.

I wore a special necklace to the festival. It was a gold locket passed down from my Bube. It was her mother's and my namesake, Jennie Greber. It has the initials "J G" inscribed on it. Inside the locket are pictures of my father and my Uncle Ed from when they were babies. Every time it clinked back and forth around my neck, I thought of Dad.

After the festival was over, I called my Dad's twin (Uncle Ed) to wish him a Happy Birthday. This day was another 'first' for us all. Uncle Ed told me he had mixed feelings about the day. He was thankful to celebrate with my Aunt, cousins and his grandsons who really helped to brighten his day. He admitted that he felt like a piece of him was missing. He felt this loss so strongly. He told me how he and my father always discussed their 60th birthday. They had planned to do something wild and crazy when they turned 60. I heard the sadness in Uncle Ed's voice when he was telling me this since it just wasn't an option anymore. I told Uncle Ed that he should still do something wild and crazy to honor my Dad and his 60th year. I'll need to follow up with him to see if he's decided to go forth with this.

Just a week after their birthday, I got an email from my Bube. It included a picture of my dad and uncle's birth announcement. Sure, its yellowed, torn and frayed, but I thought it was a pretty special thing to have a copy of.


In just a few weeks, we will have another "first" - Father's Day. My husband, myself and my sisters will travel to Florida for the weekend. We will spend some wonderful time with our Bube and Pop Pop. We will visit Dad at the cemetery on Father's Day, too. That sure is another first that I am not looking forward to. Being surrounded by family will help get us through yet another difficult occasion.